I wrote this about a month ago and thought I would share.
Having been away for 4 months I knew the transition back in to Western society was going to be difficult. As I was on the plane home I thought about how much I have grown and all the knowledge I have attained just through travelling and putting myself out there. I knew coming back would be difficult and my main concern was what I was going to do with myself once I got back.
When I was away I felt a huge sense of freedom. I was incredibly confident, I felt amazing within myself and any problems that arose seem to bounce off me. I felt so much love and I was constantly connecting with other like-minded souls. It was a completely new way of life for me and it really opened my eyes.
Fast forward 2 months down the line. The feeling of being stuck. Not knowing what to do with myself and a feeling of complete restlessness. The feel of being lost, as though something is missing.
Although the times since coming back have become increasingly difficult I am very glad I decided to come back. This is because it has provided me with incredible contrast. I can now see what was so wonderful when I was away and what is lacking in my life as I write this: Human connection.
It may seem incredibly simple, you may be thinking “duh, I already know this”. For me, this is something I completely overlooked. Perhaps it was a defence mechanism. I had CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) for such a long time I didn’t really have any choice whether I went out and connected with others as I simply couldn’t. Since I have been back that is the thing that is truly lacking from my life and as a result, I have been unhappy.
During my time in Peru I thought about some of the things I wanted to do. I was in a great space and my mind was clear and sharp. Since I have been back that seems to have disappeared. Clogged up by confusion and searching for answers. I realise that as long as I am connecting with others, as long as I am spreading and receiving love, I am more than content with where I am at in my life. After all, we are all one, and all we really want is to connect, feel loved and feel a sense of purpose.
Never underestimate the importance of connecting with others, or the impact that one small act can have on someones life. Always remember, we are ALL connected. To help someone is also a sign of self-love.
I wanted to write this as a way of releasing. Venting if you will. It helps to let stuff out. I implore you to do the same.
May you have many beautiful and loving relationships in your life and remember, the relationships that are extremely difficult are often our greatest teachers.
Have a beautiful day,